I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
