so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
