You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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