1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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