Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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