I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize