the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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