You work out of a Hotel?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
