Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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