My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
