names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
