One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's on the porch naked. Help.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
