If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize