I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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