pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
