Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
