Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
