remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
