i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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