so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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