you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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