What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
