I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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