You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize