Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
