When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
