it wasn't lemon gatorade
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
