That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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