And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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