I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize