Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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