The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm like, not good at living.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
