I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I look better un-naked...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
