I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
