operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
