Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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