Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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