Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
