Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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