By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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