So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
