I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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