honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
