yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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