It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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