I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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