Kiss
Puke
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
