Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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