the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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