You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
