So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
