apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
