Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
