so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm at about main and main street
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
