when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack