I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.