i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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