MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Someone came in the potted fern
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
